My goal for the last 6 months of 2013 in Learning 2 Love & Be Connected: RECONNECT, RECONNECT….LET GO AND LET GOD!
So I find myself several months after my last post (7 to be exact) and wanting to update my blog again. I realized a few days ago that I have had such an incredible journey over the last few months that it was time to share my story. So here I am….again in my Learning 2 Love journey…
I took time off from writing this blog and setting weekly goals since last June because it seemed everything in my life was spiraling out of control and there just were not enough hours in the day – or so it seemed. The summer was hectic and life was just moving at an extremely fast pace. And yet somehow it didn’t seem like anything was being accomplished. Just the routine list of getting up, getting ready for work, getting kids ready, lunches or snacks ready, breakfast, out the door, to work, home, cooking, cleaning, bath time, stories, work more, fall into bed. Get up and starting it all over again. Then the weekends came and Saturdays were filled with the grocery shopping, gas fill up, household shopping, laundry, mail, bills, cleaning, and then to bed. Sundays were our running around, visiting family, celebrating events and getting things ready for the week. But I started feeling like something was missing. A deeper connection? A slower pace?
Right around the time I stopped writing this blog, I started feeling this incredibly strong longing in me. A longing that is hard to describe but consumed me when I woke up and went to bed. A longing to finally do what I was meat to do in this life – on this journey. I was suddenly acutely aware of the fact that although I was getting paid well at my job and I liked it for the most part – it was not something I wanted to be doing for the next 5 or 10 years. So then I started thinking “well, then what do I want to be doing”? I was feeling a calling in me to do more, be more and be of service. But how, with what, when?
Opportunities were presenting themselves in terms of starting a “business” of my own. Like Mary Kay or Cabi. I had thoughts of starting my own consulting business where I would offer administrative and project management services since I seem to have a gift in this area. I thought of starting a business for pregnant women services or opening my own pre-school where children learned to pray and meditate from an early age and the list goes on and on. So many thoughts of things I could do but no idea where to start, what I was really being called to do and how to get started?
Feeling a bit lost, I started saying my affirmations again and going through the list of things I was grateful for at night to try and get better connected to God – surely Spirit knows what I am here to do! I started praying and asking for guidance, downloading apps from HayHouse to give me daily inspirational quotes from Dr. Wayne Dyer, apps for oracle card readings, reading books again and listening to HayHouse Radio for inspiration. I knew I needed something but what? I just prayed for an answer and then I started paying attention.
Have you ever been at a point in your life when you just knew some major change was coming? Around September I had this overwhelming sense that I was about to get the answers to all my questions but I could not pin point what it would be. I just had this “knowing” that something was headed my way that I desperately needed. I was feeling like I was at a breaking point: work was overwhelming, our 2 year old became very aware of what she wanted and could verbalize it well, money was getting tighter and tighter, bills are getting bigger and my relationship with my husband was suffering. So once I had this feeling of something coming my way, I suddenly felt relief.
Then as if a miracle blew into my life….I was at a family function where my Aunt was talking about taking her “girls” to Sedona, AZ again in October and mentioned I should go. My mind immediately said “No” as I started listing all of the bills and lack of money in my head. The next day I researched the resort and saw some of the treatments being offered and I couldn’t stop reading…I was excited right away! I found myself feeling like a kid at DisneyLand – so excited that you don’t know what you want to do first. They offered treatments far beyond just massages, etc. They were offering vortex hikes, yoga, psychic massages, readings, healings, nutrition, cleanses, communication classes, detox, you name it. I sent a note to my Aunt asking about the details for costs, hotel, etc. It turned out, she was helping quite a bit (because she is such an incredible soul) and I suddenly thought “I can’t afford NOT to go! This is my answer! This is my chance to get some clarity. This is where God is sending me to get some answers.”
So, I talked to my husband, got time off from work and I was on my way!
(Post about the details for this trip are coming up)