Comfort Zone…kissing it goodbye!

 

It’s crazy…if someone had told me 10 years ago or even a year ago that in 2015 I would launch a coaching business to teach an 8 week life transformational program – I would have laughed in their face and probably peed my pants while doing it. Seriously!

   {My dad used to tickle me until I peed my pants when I was little and I can’t believe I am sharing this detail right now…but seemed appropriate at the moment…luckily, I don’t pee my pants anymore though…REALLY!}

Now, first, I have to say that I have always wanted my own business. After all, my father had a strong drive to succeed and an entrepreneurial spirit so “it’s in the blood!” But to be honest, I always doubted the business ideas I would come up with or doubted my abilities and just kept on keepin’ on at the 9 to 5 climb of the corporate ladder.

Isn’t that what we are taught in this country? You go to college to get a degree so you can get a good job that will pay you enough to have a decent living. We are taught to work hard, say yes to our bosses and work 50+, sometimes, 60+ hours to climb the ladder of success. But for what? Helping the success of someone else’s company while the owners reap the rewards of the nice homes, fancy cars, family vacations and private schools for the kids.

When aimages (10)re we taught to trust our great ideas? When are we taught to dream?

I really thought that the harder I worked, the more I would be respected and the more I would get paid. Well, guess what? That’s only partially true. I had reached a point in my “career” where I thought I had finally made it, I was finally an Executive making great money. But I also had a price to pay.

What price are you paying for the money you make? What price are you paying for not following your dreams?

The price I was paying was my sanity. My health. My balance. Undivided time with my family. So the question is “why do we pay the price?” I believe it’s mostly due to fear. It’s so scary to think outside of the box of what we have been taught to think/believe and venture out on our own.

You see, stepping out of our comfort zone is not easy. Our comfoComfortablert zone is the place where we are COMFORTABLE, maybe the place of low expectations of ourselves, our life and our abilities; the place where we push away our dreams and throw great ideas in the trash. So it’s not easy at all. In fact, it can be downright painful at first.

Because you have to find a way to create a new mindset. You have to create a new way of thinking and being. Albert Einstein once said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Stepping out of your comfort zone requires doing something different. And different is sometimes scary. Okay, maybe always scary.

Two years ago, I had 10 seconds of courage to step out of my comfort zone and take a trip to Sedona, AZ. (You can read about that trip in my blog archives) One year ago, I had another 10 seconds of courage to sign up for an 8 week program that changed everything. And 8 months ago I had another 10 seconds of courage and signed up for a 5 month certification program to teach the class that changed my life. Who knows where it will take me. But I am stepping out!! Little by little. You see, all it takes is 10 seconds of courage to step out of your comfort zone. And who knows what the ripple effects in your life will be!!Life begins at end of zone

Below is a poem I found a long time ago about the “Comfort Zone” and it has stuck with me ever since and I wanted to share. If you are interested in the 8 week program that helped me step out of my comfort zone, click here: www.insight4oursoul.com.

May you find 10 seconds of courage this week to step outside your comfort zone….

Love & Light,

Victoriahearts

The Comfort Zone

by Anonymous

I used to have a comfort zone where I knew I couldn’t fail,

The same four walls and busy work were really more like a jail

I longed so much to do the things I’d never done before,

But I stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor

I said it didn’t matter that I wasn’t doing much,

I said I didn’t care for things like diamonds, cars and such

I claimed to be so busy with the things inside my zone,

But deep inside I longed for something special of my own

I couldn’t let my life go by just watching others win,

I held my breath and stepped outside to let the change begin

I took a step and with new strength I’d never felt before,

I kissed my comfort zone good bye and closed and locked the door

If you are in a comfort zone afraid to venture out,

Remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt

A step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true

Greet your future with a smile, success is there for you!

fish out of water

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Week of March 11th

My Goal this Week in Learning to Love & Be Connected:
This week’s goal was to embrace the joyful memories of my father and allow myself to feel the sadness from remembering that this week is the 5th Anniversary of his passing. But also find a way to be happy and enjoy my birthday.
My Experience this Week:
My father passed away the night of March 14th five years ago, the night before my birthday. It always amazes me how much that day still affects me. Just when I think I will breeze through it, the morning comes with sadness and grief because I still miss him so much.

He survived for 3 weeks when the doctors gave him 1 to 2 at best. But that was my Dad. He always said “doctors don’t know anything, they’re just “practicing” medicine”. He always knew in his heart and truly believed in his own power to make things happen. So it didn’t surprise us at all that he lasted 3 weeks. Just like when he was diagnosed with ALS and was given 2 to 3 years to live…he knew he would put up one of the strongest fights ALS has ever seen. And he certainly did…more than 17 years in fact. I am still blown away by his courage, strength and faith through all the ups and downs.

I can still remember the last night I was with him in the hospital before we brought him home. It was just him and me…he had fallen asleep watching the history channel (one of his favorites besides old western movies) so I used the remote and changed the channel to something I wanted to watch. He immediately woke up, looked at me and said “Hey, I was watching that”. I said “no, you were sleeping”, to which he replied “I was just resting my eyes”…LOL…if I had a dime for every time I heard that I would be rich by now. We laughed and started talking about “stuff” – we always talked about everything going on in my life and he would give me advice – this night was no different. He always knew just what to say.

And one point, he looked at me and asked me what was wrong. I started tearing up and said “I’m not ready. There is still so much we need to do. What about my wedding?”. He held my hand and said “I’m sorry sweetie. Everything is going to be okay, you will be fine and I know I don’t have to worry about you. Don’t you worry…I will be there on your wedding day”. I said “it’s not fair” and started crying, holding his hand and resting my head on his arm while he went back to sleep. I sat there watching him breath for what seemed like hours and I started asking myself and God how I was ever going to deal with this. How was I going to have the strength to say good-bye, to take him home knowing this is the last time, to let our family and friends know what was happening, to witness his last breath, to have a funeral, to say a eulogy, to watch a burial, to live without him. How, how, how?

I always thought that after more than 17 years of preparing myself for that day it somehow would have been easier. But it wasn’t. Loss is loss and a broken heart is broken whether you knew it was coming or not.  Those last 3 weeks were some of the most blessed, fun, scary and depressing days of my life. To say I was close to my Dad is a huge understatement. He was always tough on me but he truly was my best friend in so many ways. And I will always be grateful!

So this week, in my year long journey of learning to love more deeply and getting more connected, I wanted to spend time in quiet moments just thinking about him and letting the feelings come – whatever they were. And in the quiet stillness I could feel him near me, and I could hear his voice saying “everything is going to be okay, I am always with you”. The message was so clear and so overwhelming I just cried. But not all the tears were for sadness, because I also felt a slight reassurance that he is not far – that he is watching over me and my family in ways he never could when he was on this earth. And when little miracles happen in my life I can’t help but wonder if he is helping the stars align for me to make them happen.

The second part of my goal was enjoying my birthday. For the 5th year now I have mourned my father on the 14th and then tried to wake up on the 15th in a joyous mood to celebrate my birthday. Each year it has been a little easier and somehow I am able to smile and enjoy my day. Perhaps a little help from him and the Holy Spirit! But I also think it’s because I try to focus on how much fun he must have had celebrating my birthday for so many years. Now that I have a child of my own, I totally get how happy that day is when you remember your little baby coming into the world. I also have amazing family and friends that try to make my birthday special and I am so, so blessed!

This year my birth-DAY turned into a birth-WEEKEND…I was able to spend time with almost all the people I love and care about starting from Friday to Sunday. I felt so LOVED and honored to have so many wonderful people in my life that wanted to spend time celebrating with me. It was a very special weekend and I felt my Dad enjoying it with us! I don’t know if this time of year will ever be “easy” for me and I have no idea if being without my Dad will ever get easier, but knowing that when I am still and quiet, I can connect with him anytime I need him, and in a small way it helps to ease the sadness. The love we shared keeps us connected…always…

I love you Dad and miss you!

🙂 Victoria